#126: Complain about the Slope Day headliners

The first thing I said when I heard who was performing on Slope Day: “Isn’t he married to a Kardashian?”

Who the fuck is Kendrick Lamar?

I took the time to Google him and have since been able to form some concrete opinions about this rapper. Keep in mind the fact that I’m no music aficionado. I don’t remember artists, song names, or lyrics. My friends from high school always make fun of me because I thought 50 Cent was white for the longest time. I also didn’t realize Fergie was part of the Black Eyed Peas. No one tells me these things.

Apparently Kendrick Lamar sings that “Drank” song, which I’ve actually heard before. That’s a plus for Slope Day. I might be able to sing along! That means I’ll be the tone-deaf bitch screaming “drank!” every few seconds regardless of what song is playing. Sorry bout it.

My concern is this: does this guy even have enough songs to fill up a whole concert? Not that anyone in attendance will care­ – or remember – what he does. But I’m assuming Cornell is spending a bit of money on this and we all know the University loves to squeeze every ounce out of what they’ve paid for.

According to the lovely source of Wikipedia, Lamar started when he was 16 under the name K-Dot. “Youngest Head N**** in Charge” was his first mixtape. I managed to find another early one, “Whatcha Know About It,” on YouTube. I liked that better than his newer stuff, which is a bit too slow for my taste. The music in his recent albums makes me feel like I should be in an elevator.

Anyway, we can’t always have Nelly. I’m sure we won’t care, regardless. Whoever stays sober enough to legitimately judge the quality of the concert is not doing Slope Day right.