Author: Catherine Giese
Ah, high school. It brings back memories that are equal parts tragic and funny, like that hairstyle you thought looked good sophomore year. The most memorable parts of high school, however, are probably less about questionable fashion choices and more about how to navigate the lunch room. As Cornell students, we all probably belonged to more than one clique, but that doesn’t mean we’ve evaded the stereotypes, so here’s some insight into who you would be then based on who you are now.
1. Arts and Sciences: The Floater
This is the cool, drifter kid who fits into every group. They sit at a different lunch table every day and are probably active members in both robotics and the slam poetry club. They have selfies with everyone, so their facebook albums always feature the most random assortment of characters.
2. Human Ecology: Girl/Boy Scouts
They may not actually be in these organizations, but they are community-oriented and among the sweetest people you will ever meet. On Saturday mornings, while the rest of us drag ourselves out of bed at noon, they wake up at 7am to teach underprivileged elementary school students. That head-achey fog you wake up with while they do good in the world is definitely karma.
3. Engineering: Nerds
We’re all pretty nerdy here at Cornell, but the engineers take the cake. These are the pesky overachievers who took seven AP classes in addition to Calculus 5 at the community college because high school math was too easy. If you can’t find them in the Robotics shop, you can find them messing around with Python in the computer lab–for fun.
4. ILR: Student Government
No one quite understands why they’re in charge, but they are. Even though the student government only consists of ten people, you somehow know all of them in a school of 2,000. They plan every spirit event, even though only ten people participate (hint: they’re all in student government).
5. CALS: Alternative Kids
You can find them barefoot in the corner of the quad with wavy, unkempt tresses, strumming on a ukulele. They’re really into the environment and saving the whales, especially after taking AP Environmental Science. They may or may not have a mild obsession with kale. In one word, they’re crunchy.
6. AEM: Jocks
Yes, AEM is technically in CALS, but they’re an entirely different breed. The jocks seem chill and singularly focused (football is life, life is football), but they somehow end up in high places. Brains have been strained trying to comprehend why they’re so popular and successful. You really either love them or you hate them.
7. AAP: Artsy Hipsters
Sometimes you forget they go to your school because if they aren’t randomly wandering around campus seeking inspiration, then they’re holed up in the art studio. They have the most profound thoughts in English class and the absolute worst answers in Algebra. Most importantly, though, their outfits are always on point.
8. Hotel: Popular Preps
Was there ever any doubt? These kids can charm their way in or out of anything. Everyone think the popular kids are shallow airheads and it will always be annoying that they seem to have the world handed to them on a silver platter by a shirtless Ryan Gosling. Not that you’re bitter. You try to find a weak spot and fail because they seem so perfect. All. The. Time.
We’ve all graduated high school, but nothing has really changed. You’re probably still friends with people of all majors and you probably enjoy making fun of them for being such an [insert major here]. The only difference is that now your hair’s on point.