It’s almost that time of year again isn’t it? You know, the time when you pour out of the heavens and completely blanket campus, turning it into a barren wasteland of white powder. I knew it was starting when I saw the first flurries last week, and though you may have fooled those students who were excitedly running outside to see you, you can’t fool me. In short, I know what’s coming and I’m seriously questioning if my winter jacket is good enough to help me survive this.
I also know that you like to start off slow. The first flurries happen and people are like “this isn’t so bad,” and start trying to convince themselves that there’s no way you’ll be as bad as last year because it’s been pretty warm so far. Maybe we’ll have a mild winter without a lot of you. Hah. Other students who don’t get a lot of you are psyched because they’ll finally get to experience their first real winter and naively think that it can’t get much worse than this.
They’re so wrong. Pretty soon you’ll be piled up everywhere in knee-high drifts making us all wonder why we ever thought coming to Cornell was a good idea. And every time I start thinking that I’m getting used to trudging through you on my way to class, the wind kicks up and blows powdery ice crystals up in my face, making it impossible to see. It seems like it’s still snowing even when it isn’t. Even a ten minute walk becomes miserable.
I’m going to level with you here, I think we need to spend some time apart. I know it might seem personal, and please do feel free to take this personally if it means you stay away, but it would be better for all of us if you didn’t turn Cornell into a freezing hellscape this year. So please take some time and seriously consider it.