Early this August, Tim Tebow announced that he was going to hang up his football helmet, pick up a bat, and play professional baseball. The world waited for the punchline–that is, until the other day, when the Mets gave him a contract in their minor league team (which is great, but it’s also the Mets). Forget Hillary–I’m pretty sure this is why so many foreign countries think Americans are stupid. Aside from our consistent low test scores and our refusal to adopt the metric system, we continue to doubt Tim Tebow. Public opinion of how he’ll fare in baseball is about the same as it was about football in 2013, and we all know how that worked out.
Tebow is an American icon that brings more to the table than just highlights. The return of Tim Tebow means the return of #Tebowing, and that was awesome. Even South Park made an episode mocking it, so you know he was doing something very right. Being parodied on a comedy show is pretty much the sign that you’ve made it.
Tebow has been working down in the trenches long before he became football’s golden boy. As a back QB for Denver, he was literally their last resort after a 1-4 start. Tebow proceeded to carry the team through the playoffs, beating the Steelers in overtime, after John Elway told him to, ”Pull the trigger”. After being replaced by The Sheriff himself, Peyton Manning, our good friend Tim made his way to NY to play for the Jets. Tebow broke a few ribs on a road game and still played next week at home before saying, “Yeah, these really effing hurt, Rex Ryan, I’m gonna take the butt-load of money the SEC just offered me and be a sports broadcaster”.
Now he has decided he’s not done living the American dream and wants to play baseball. What can I say? Respect the biz.
Do I think Tebow will do well? Is the Pope Catholic? I don’t even know what position he’ll be playing, but I know that he’ll kill it in true Tebow fashion. Tebow wouldn’t be the first pro athlete to try his hand in the MLB; Michael Jordan and Bo Jackson both took a swing at it (lol puns!1!), so the third time might be the charm. Besides, baseball kind of needs Tebow. Even as someone who knows a bit about baseball (MLB The Show anyone?) I admit it can be quite the yawnfest.
To those who for whatever reason still don’t believe in Tim, let a man dream. If anyone can do it it’s him. I recently looked up the definition of “All-America” and found this:
Disclaimer: The Slope Super Sports:Deluxe Edition team is aware of the alternative explanation that this may be the doing of the Illuminati. While this is merely speculation, we believe all suspicions to be valid and are looking into this as well as into other secret societies.