Author: Catherine Giese


You may tell your parents that you can’t call Thursday, Friday, or Saturday nights because that’s study crunch time, but we know the truth (and they probably do too). After all, parties are a quintessential part of the college experience. Everyone in the history of higher education has hit the town, and so as long as people are raging, the same people will be there to make it a party.


1. The one who loves everyone


You’ve never seen this person before in your life, but they love your outfit and your hair and your necklace and you. They ask, Isn’t this the best night ever? It’s weirdly cute and, honestly, you’ll take the confidence boost any day.


2. The player/dancefloor makeout queen


Whether the player comes across as boy-next-door nice, awkwardly nerdy, or overly smooth, you know no matter what he will not text you the next morning. Same goes for the girl, so hopefully they pick each other.


3. The wallflower


They may just seem to be standing there, solo cup in hand, with a miserable expression on their face. But still waters run deep, right? Well, maybe they do, but in a party setting you’re more likely to end up making your way back to the dancefloor.


4. The ridiculously good dancer


No one said it was a competition, but they’ve obviously won. They can whip, they can nae nae; there’s nothing they can’t do. Fools try to dance next to them but the wiser ones form a respectful circle around them.


5. The pong master


It been two hours, and not only is this person still by the pong table, but they’ve also won every. Single. Round. They’re so in their element that it’s hard to imagine them doing anything else with their day, like, say, going to class.


6. The Lost Soul


They’ve just wandered into the house thinking they’re at Risley. The doe eyes are almost cute, except for the fact that the person they belong to makes you very worried. Best case scenario, their group of friends is taking care of them. The worst, you call a cab and provide a trash bag.


7. The freshman


It’s singular, yes, but they usually run in herds. They’re either overdressed or underdressed, and carry an air of quiet desperation wherever they go. At least you know who to go to if you want to cross something off your list of 161 things.


8. The sober monitor


This guy’s eyes are void of all feeling. He’s standing miserably at the door, on the stairs, or behind the bar, looking completely dead. Everyone else is having fun, but the poor sober monitor only wants someone to shut the party down so he can go to bed.


9. The squad


This is usually a huge group of girls. They are completely closed off and only talk amongst themselves. Save yourself some embarrassment — don’t even try to break the circle. They just came here to dance with their friends.


10. The person you always sit next to in class


Seeing them outside of class is far more exciting than it should be and you attack each other with an overly enthusiastic hug. Congratulations, you finally talked to the person you’ve sat next to for three weeks straight. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


11. The dog


It may not be a person, but the dog is definitely the best friend you made all night.