Presented by Cornell University’s Skimm’bassador Erica Baevsky

 

HISTORICAL NEWS (9/8)

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO WAS A GEOLOGY MAJOR…
Get excitedddd. Stonehenge — everyone’s favorite crew of prehistoric British rocks — has a newly discovered rival. On Monday, researchers said they thought they’d found evidence of an even bigger group of rock monuments just two miles from Stonehenge. This new formation was hidden under grass. There are up to 90 rocks, and they’re believed to be 4,500 years old. Squad goals.

 

US + INTERNATIONAL NEWS (9/8 & 9/9)

WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…
Syria. On Monday, the British government announced that it had conducted its first drone strike against ISIS in Syria. The strike killed three ISIS members, including two British citizens. British PM David Cameron said that this was because the targets were planning terrorist attacks in Britain. In other Syrian neighborhood news, the country is still a mess. It’s such a mess that the US is reportedly revamping its program to train moderate Syrian rebels in the fight against ISIS. Hint: the current program isn’t working. The US also asked Russia to kindly stop sending military aid to the Syrian government (which is also on the US’s sh*t list). To which Russia said ‘nyet likely.’

 

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR MOM ASKS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE…

This is my nightmare come true. On Tuesday, Iran’s supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei made everyone feel really, really great about the Iran nuclear deal. After calling the US “Satan,” he said that as soon as the deal’s got a fork in it, Iran will go back to giving the US the silent treatment. Hooray.  Reminder: the long-awaited and much-debated deal — which is aimed at curbing Iran’s nuclear program — was agreed to this summer between Iran, the US and five other countries. While Iran’s president and friends have talked a big negotiating game, the Ayatollah hasn’t been so into it. Helpful, since he actually has top billing in the country. He also said that Israel won’t be around in 25 years. Which might explain why Israel is not thrilled with the deal.  In the last week, President Obama secured justttt enough votes in Congress to get the deal approved. The official vote is next week. Everyone’s sure to be in a great mood.

 

LEGAL NEWS (9/8 & 9/9)

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE NOT READY TO GO BACK TO WORK…
President Obama might approve of another day off. On Monday, he said ‘Happy Labor Day’ by signing an executive order that will require federal contractors to give their employees paid sick leave. Meaning 300,000 workers who previously got zero sick days will now get up to seven. Add this to the list of other executive orders Obama’s recently pushed through, winning him lots and lots of Republican friends. On opposite day. This isn’t the first time Obama’s done something to help federal contractors (think: raise minimum wage and expand overtime pay). And it’s also not the first time he’s done something that likely won’t come into effect until after he leaves office. He’s got that L-word on his mind: legacy.

KENTUCKY

THE STORY

Last week, a Kentucky county clerk was thrown in jail for refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses. This week, she was released.

SAY WHAT?

Reminder: same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. But this clerk says that goes against her religion, and refused to issue all marriage licenses in protest. After a lot of legal back and forth, she went to jail. And her deputy clerks took this as a cue to start letting same-sex couples get hitched. On Tuesday, a judge said she was free as long as she doesn’t “interfere” with the issuing of licenses. Her lawyer said she won’t do anything that “violates her conscience.”

theSKIMM

TBD on whether her conscience will interfere with the issuing of licenses. This case is the first major challenge to the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling. And it’s hitting a nerve with those who say their freedom of religion is being compromised.

 

SPORTS NEWS (9/9)

WHAT TO SAY AT YOUR FANTASY DRAFT…

Seen the ESPN report? On Tuesday, ESPN published a story that made NFL execs reach for the Alka-Seltzer. Again. The highlights? That the New England Patriots may have illegally videotaped multiple opponents from 2000-2007. Fun fact: the Patriots have been accused of spying a few times in the past, and head coach Bill Belichick has been forced to apologize. But this report claims they spied a lot more than a few times. The report also says when the NFL found out about the alleged cheating, it had the tapes destroyed right away. This apparently didn’t go over too well with team owners. Which is why, ESPN says, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was harsher on the Patriots after this year’s ‘Deflategate’ debacle. The Patriots say the report is “unfounded, unwarranted and, quite frankly, unbelievable.” Not the kind of PR the League is hoping for right now, since this week’s NFL kickoff starred…the Patriots.

 

WHAT TO SAY WHEN THERE’S AN ARGUMENT AT A FAMILY DINNER…

Not going down without a fight. Neither did Venus.

 

TECH NEWS (9/10)

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU’VE BEEN CARRYING AROUND A PHONE WITH A CRACKED SCREEN FOR MONTHS…

iWant an upgrade. On Wednesday, Apple invited a bunch of people over to show off some high-tech toys. There was clapping. Spoiler: the iPhone got a fancy makeover. You can now refer to it as iPhone 6S or 6S Plus. It’s made of tough stuff (literally ), has a 3D touch screen, and now comes in rose gold. Because, why not? The Fruit is hoping the new bells and rose gold whistles will make everyone get their holiday wish lists ready. It also unveiled new versions of pretty much everything else, including an iPad Plus that looks a lot like your old desktop screen and a stylus pen. Which is great, since Steve Jobs once said, “if you see a stylus, they blew it.”

 

MEDICAL NEWS (9/10)

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT…

The right-to-die movement. On Wednesday, California lawmakers approved legislation that would let terminally ill patients end their own lives. This issue started getting a lot more attention last year when 29-year-old Brittany Maynard , who had terminal brain cancer, moved from California to Oregon to end her own life. She said the progression of her cancer would have destroyed the time she had left. Oregon is one of a handful of states that allows terminally ill patients to die on their “own terms,” as Maynard put it, with prescribed medication. And now California might be added to that list. The proposal still needs to be approved by the state senate, which is expected to give it the OK.

 

SCIENTIFIC NEWS (9/10)

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR ROSS GELLER…

He might be into this one. On Thursday, scientists announced that they’d discovered a new species of human relative in South Africa. It’s being called Homo naledi, and its fossils were found in a cave two years ago. But the fossils themselves are much older…as in probably more than a million years old. This discovery could change the way scientists understand human evolution, and make Christmas come early for the professor of that biological anthropology class you took in college.

 

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