A Guide to Cornell Manners (Part II)

Author: Michelle DiGiglio

 

We all know Cornell has its own personality and culture that’s unique in itself. Everyone wants to fit in, and it’s important that your manners are up to par with the high standard we have set here. Here is part two of a guide on how to act like a true Cornell student.

 

Classroom Behavior

Even though no one is sitting there, put all of your belongings on the seat next to you. No one can sit next to you.

 

 

When the professor is speaking, talk about what you did over the weekend as loudly as you can so that the people around you can’t focus. Remember, your peers would rather focus on your social life than on their GPAs.

 

 

Just because someone in class is speaking or presenting, that doesn’t mean you should give them any attention or eye contact. It’s actually preferred that you talk to the person next to you or check your phone at this time.

 

 

 

Roommate Courtesy

You get home at night and find that your roommate is already asleep. Turn the lights on, ruffle through all your belongings, start talking loudly, and throw on some Beyoncé. You’re home and your roommate is so glad about this announcement.

 

 

If you like to eat in your room, make sure to leave to your trash out so that your roommate knows that you are “eatin’ good.”

 

Be sure to bring somebody home as many days of the week as you can and force them to sleep somewhere else. Who cares if it’s Monday and your roommate has a prelim tomorrow? Your weeknight hook-up game is definitely more important.

 

 

Remember, what’s theirs is yours so borrow whatever you want without asking. If you lose or break something, just deny it ’til you die.

 

 

 

General Phrases and Gestures

If someone has the audacity to let you bump into them because you weren’t paying attention, the last thing you owe them is an apology or an “excuse me.” Why couldn’t they just move out of the way for you while you were texting on Ho Plaza?

 

 

When you are handed your food at Trillz and told to “have a nice day,” tell them not to tell you what to do. Who are they to tell you how to live your day?

 

 

If someone tells you how much work they have or how stressed they are, it’s really an invitation to one up them. You have now entered the competition; tell them how much more work you have to do than them.

 

 

Seeing your professor outside of the classroom is terribly unfortunate. Instead of stopping to say “hi,” wave, or crack a smile, pretend they aren’t real.

 

 

If you happen use the TCAT, you can’t form a line or wait your turn. The appropriate response to the bus pulling up is to shove your way on (especially on the weekend). And then when you get to your stop you aren’t suppose to thank the driver, it’s really uncool and unappreciated.