Ask Asha

Author: Asha McLachlan

For some reason my friends’ mom’s iPad received an entire text conversation between my friend and I. I’m guessing the iCloud got messed up. But anyways, the conversation was completely inappropriate (sex, alcohol, etc.) My friend got in trouble with her mom and I’m pretty sure her mom hates me now. How can I fix the situation?

– Tech Savvy

 

Dear Tech Savvy,

We’ve all had some type of communication mishap in our lives – it’s just unfortunate that yours had to be with your friend’s mom. First of all, you should ask your friend for details. Ask her questions like, “What exactly did she read?” or “How much did she see?” or “What was she specifically angry about?” This can help you gauge how her mom is feeling and why she’s feeling that way, and you can further determine how extreme the situation is. If her mom’s reaction wasn’t too bad (maybe just slightly stern), then it’ll probably blow over soon and you’ll have nothing to worry about. But if her mom’s reaction was severe and unforgiving or completely disappointed, then I would advise you to reach out to her mom and talk about it. A sincere apology followed by a mature conversation never goes unrecognized. Besides, it will most likely be forgotten eventually– remember that time really does heal all wounds.

-Asha

 

My boyfriend has bad hygiene habits. He doesn’t do his laundry, he doesn’t clean his room, he barely brushes his teeth, and sometimes he smells. At first it wasn’t a big deal, but now I notice it all the time. What should I do?

- Smell Ya Later

 

Dear Smell Ya Later,

Although it’s much easier said than done, you have to tell him– not only for your sake but for his, too.Keep in mind that you might not be the only one who notices it. You can drop hints – “Have you read that new article about daily showers? They say it’s the key to longevity.” – or you can flat out tell him, “I think you need to pay more attention to personal hygiene.” You know the type of person your boyfriend is and what he’ll be more receptive to. Worse comes to worst, you can just break up with him –just kidding, don’t do that. He’s your boyfriend and you care about him. But in all seriousness: remember that you’re doing him a favor by suggesting that he clean it up a bit.

-Asha

 

My professor saw me texting during class once, so she called on me and I had no idea what was going on. Now she always calls on me and addresses me as “texter.” It’s really embarrassing and annoying. How do I gain back her respect?

- Caught Red-Handed

 

Dear Caught Red-Handed,

I want to start off by saying that professors are always trying to relate to their students. Often times, the way that they do that is by using our vernacular– or, in your case, making jokes that sound like they’re “in the know.” That being said, it doesn’t seem like you’ve lost her respect. If anything, she’s carrying on a joke for too long at your expense. Regardless, if you want her to stop, you simply have to talk to her about it. Begin by apologizing for texting during class. Then you can try to make a playful joke that gets your point across – something like, “Yeah my friends won’t stop making fun of me because you call me texter now! It’s so embarrassing (haha?).” She will most likely understand that the joke is played out and that she should stop. If she still doesn’t get it, you have every right to clearly (but politely) ask her to stop using that nickname. At the end of the day, she probably doesn’t mean any harm by it.

-Asha

 

“Ask Asha” is an advice column for the students of Cornell, and an insight into what other students go through. College is a time during which we face a variety of obstacles, ranging from academics to personal and social life matters. “Ask Asha” exists to help students resolve the issues that they may encounter, and to answer those tough questions from the perspective of one of their peers.

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